Unreasonable Expectations

I just had this conversation, a little bit before 4 AM, with a guy who wanted me to come to his friend's house, where he's currently staying in a camper in the driveway. The guy is not out of the closet at all, and doesn't want me to park in front of the house, but instead pull on past it, then hop over a wooden fence - because I'm limber like that - and then go to the camper. The other option would be to sneak up onto the porch and walk around to the back to where the camper is parked. Although I could have sworn he said it was in the driveway; not around back. 

He wanted me to do this all in pitch black darkness at 4 in the morning. Now, tell me, if you lived in that house and saw a 6'-3" tall bearish looking man, of about 270 pounds, sneaking around your house, what would your reaction be? My only hope would be that they wouldn't have a gun. Well, I guess not my only hope. That would be my biggest hope. My other hopes would be that they wouldn't call the cops to report a suspicious looking individual wandering around their house, or that they wouldn't have three rottweilers.

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Let's say that the people in the house decide to confront me, and I just flat out tell them, "Yeah, I'm here to fuck your friend out in the camper," what do you suppose would happen next? They might go and pound on the guy's door to confirm the story. But, no, wait... He's closeted, so, what's he gonna say? "I don't know this dude!" That's what he'd likely say. He would deny any knowledge of me coming around.

The other issue is, what if this was a setup? What if, at 4 in the morning, someone is trying to fuck with their friends, or some people they're not too fond of, and they decide to send some unsuspecting attractive bald dude to go wandering around their property? I don't want to be a part of that.

I went with my gut on this, rather than following my cock, and decided to tell the guy it ain't happening. Nope. It's just not worth it. His reaction seemed to be an incredulous "Wow," as if I were the unreasonable one.

Look, if you're closeted, that's fine. Be a big closet-case. But don't expect other people to literally jump hurdles to work around your fear of coming out. Don't expect people to sneak around your place at 4 AM, trying to find you using some form of cock radar to locate you. I'm not interested in any sort of sketchy late night prowling in order to get laid. I'll just fuck someone else, who isn't a huge pain in the ass.