"No" ALWAYS Means "No"

I don't generally agree with the whole "trigger warning" thing, but just to be on the safe side, in case I'm being obtuse about its need, I'm gonna give one. So, um... TRIGGER WARNING! I imagine you can tell from the Subject of this post what this is going to be about and, you know, if this is going to be too much for you, well, honestly, I still say you should try to read it. I'll excuse you, though, if it's too much for you. It probably won't be as bad as you think. 

Early this morning I had a hookup with a young man. I picked him up and we drove off some place to fool around (Do people still say "fool around" these days? Am I the only one?). Anyways, I picked him up and we drove off to some parking lot which was in line with some trail for bike riders, runners, and such. It was still a little bit dark outside, so we were able to do our thing while not worrying too much about people coming by and seeing things which they do not want to see. 

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We were exchanging head and, as is usually the case for me, he's receiving far more than he's giving. This seems to be pretty much par for the course for me with regards to hookups. Typically, I'll just choose to give with no intention of receiving, but once in a while I encounter some guy who wants to give. The problem is that they barely want to give, and it ends up being more of a cock-tease than anything else. It's not a big deal; it's just annoying. I'd rather just leave my cock packed up in my pants if that's how it's going to be. 

By the way, this post is going to be all over the place, for a bit. I have several things I want to talk about, but I assure you that I'll get to the '"No" ALWAYS Means "No"' thing before long. 

As we were doing things, we were taking a bit too long and the sun was beginning to rise. Of course, that also meant that we were at risk of people starting to use the trail, and sure enough, some guy on a bicycle happened along. My hookup noticed him first and got a bit panicky. I simply sat up and watched the dude as he inquisitively approached my vehicle and got a bit nosey. So, when he looked me dead in the eye, I gave him the biggest, cheesiest grin I could come up with, which pretty much screamed, "You know what's going on in here! *wink*" 

I didn't have my glasses on but from what I could piece together from the blur that was the cyclist, he looked to be a homeless dude, just strolling along. He was kind of meandering down the lane. After my cheesy grin, he rode behind my vehicle and I kept an eye on him (a blurry eye). Honestly, he was kind of cute, so my fantasies went into overdrive, wanting him to come back. And he did! He rode to the end of the driveway/trail and paused for a moment. I could tell he was pondering something. Then he rode back around, looping back to where we first spotted him, only this time, instead of going behind my vehicle, he squeezed through the space between the front of my car and the bushes, staring into the vehicle through the front windshield. I figured someone this curious wasn't a threat to call the cops or something, so I wasn't worried. My hookup was sucking on my cock as the guy rode in front of my vehicle, basically walking his bike through, making solid eye contact with me, and us both giving each other an approving nod. I was actually mildly surprised that he wasn't disgusted that it was a dude going to town on my dick, but maybe he assumed it was a short-haired chick. Who knows?

Oddly enough, the possibly homeless dude riding through on his bike was the highlight of my encounter with the hookup. While I was sucking my hookup's cock he tried putting his hand down the back of my pants and made an effort to start fingering me. I don't know if I've ever mentioned this in here before, or not, but my ass is off limits. I'm a total top when it comes to anal, and I not only do not like bottoming, but I don't even like if my ass is touched in any manner in which any part of my partner or any instruments of any sort begins to approach my ass crack and what lies betwixt its cheeks. I start to feel very uncomfortable and like I'm being pushed into a submissive role. It's a hard limit for me. 

I pulled his hand away and said "nuh uh" and he got a little whiny in response and asked why. I then explained that I don't like it, I'm a total top, and my ass isn't erogenous in any way. That last part is only partially true, but we're going with that for the sake of explaining things to this dude as simply as possible. He tried to manipulate me by saying it gets him hard when he does it. That's when I pointed out that he was already hard. He, then, begrudgingly stopped trying to penetrate my Fortress of Nope and we moved on. He started sucking me a bit. And I do mean "a bit" and then it went back to being my turn to polish his knob. Withing seconds his hand was again trying to do an alien-like probing of my backdoor. Now, I may be trying to put the tiniest bit of humor into my telling of this story, but the humor belies a percolating rage that was nearing the boiling point for me. He was told "No" once, in the form of me moving his hand, mumbling "nuh uh," and then a paragraph of explanation as to why it's off limits, and he fucking dared to try it again. 

As if that wasn't bad enough, he got super whiny and tried to coerce me into letting him do it. He was getting rather demanding, telling me he really wanted to, and using the aforementioned super whiny voice to bitch about the fact that I wouldn't let him.  He even seemed to sound like he felt entitled to it, explaining that he was letting me suck his dick, so I apparently owed this to him, or something. That's when I told him we were done. 

I told him "Fuck this. That's it. We're done. You're being a dick!" Then I started packing up my cock and told him I'd take him home. I was 100% serious. I was fed up. He was already more dominant than I'm comfortable with and considering he's a bottom, that's unusual. But then all of this bullshit. He was fucking violating me. I was fully prepared to kick him out of my car, with his pants barely on; wrapped around his right ankle. He started begging me to continue and he apologized profusely for his behavior. I paused for a moment and reluctantly allowed things to get going again. 

I did this for a couple of reasons, neither of which I'm proud of: I was hoping to get off (I never did), and I just didn't want to fucking argue with him to the point that I would have to shove him out of my car, or listen to him bitch and moan for 10 minutes while I drove him back home. 

What I should have done was kickedth his bare-assed naked body out of my car and told him to walk home. Technically, I could have called the cops on him, now that I think about it. Seriously, his attempt to do it again, after I explicitly told him "No" in no uncertain terms, means that it was rape. Even if the sex, as a whole, was consensual. 

I doubt many people consider that aspect of things, but when someone goes way outside of your comfort level and you tell them "No," they need to stop that activity. Generally speaking, they should stop all activity until it's clear what you are saying "No" to. Once it's established what you are refusing to do or have done to you, then everything else can resume with your consent. But if they ignore your "No" and they proceed to do that violating action, that's rape. At least in my book it is. Whether or not it would be in the legal books is another matter. I suggest you err on the side of caution, just in case. You don't want to end up like this guy, who is now a bad hookup memory for me.

I realize I have this hangup about my ass. I don't fully understand it, myself. But that's not all that important at the moment. What's important is that no one does anything which makes me uncomfortable while having any form of sex. And that's especially true when they have been informed that this particular activity is one in which I do not wish to partake.