Slut Shaming All The Sluts!

You're a slut! You know you're a slut. I know you're a slut. We all know you're a slut. How do I know you're a slut? Because I'm a slut, and it takes one to know one. Ya slutty slut-slut! 

What's wrong with being a slut, though? Let's dig into that a bit. And what, exactly makes one a slut? Is there a particular acceptable  number of sex partners which you can have before you qualify as a slut? Is it dependent upon age? Like, is there a chart with a X and Y axis, in which, as long as you stay below a certain point, all is good? But who is deciding what that point is? Hmm?

Some people think you're a slut if the number of partners you've had is in the double digits. Others think it's in the triple digits. Some think you're a slut only if you're cheating on your partner. And others, still, think you're a slut if you have sex outside of marriage. Then there are those who think you're a slut if you have sex on the first date, or second, or third, or if you just give it up too easily. But what's "too easy"?

It's clearly all subjective, and if it's all subjective, why do we care what someone thinks? For some reason, we really, really do. Generally speaking, "slut" and "whore" have been used primarily to shame women for being sexual at all. Men can pretty much fuck however much they want without social repercussions, for the most part. Clearly this is a double standard. Personally, I use the term "slut" in a different way, and embrace it. I also use it proudly for both men and women, and everyone in between. Others, however, use it to attempt to put someone down. 

I'm really not sure how that's supposed to be a put down, though. Basically, when someone calls you a "slut," all they are doing is saying that you have sex in a way in which they do not approve. Well, who gives a shit if they approve? Last I checked, they weren't going to be in my bedroom holding up score cards, and rating my performance. And, as a gay man, my sex life is rarely met with approval anyway. So, they can take their approval, and shove it up their ass. I approve of that placement, by the way: Right up the ass.

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I'm not looking to have sex in a way which other people approve because, well, then I might not approve of that. For example, some ultra conservative Christians would want me to only have sex with a woman to whom I'm married. Well, I'm not interested in being married to a woman. So, no thank you to that. Some might think I have too many partners. So, then I should have sex with fewer people, just to make them happy? But I like having some variety. I'm not in a relationship, so I don't need to be monogamous. In a relationship I'm monogamous. But outside of one, there's no real need for that. So, I'll fuck the whole neighborhood if I want. If Judgy McJudgerson wants to tell me I can only have sex with up to five people, he is out of luck. Sorry, buddy.  Even if I did only have sex with those five people, someone else would say I was still a slut because they only approve of me having sex with three people. I just can't win. 

We still don't know how the chart works. Is it number of partners over a given period of time, or is it number of dates before putting out? Is it number of partners compared to the person who is judging you? Unless there's some sort of standard way of determining if someone is a slut, we should probably knock off the slut shaming. 

Really, I think the primary motivation for anyone who does shame someone else for their sluttiness, is the fact that they're jealous. They're either jealous that you're getting laid more than they are, or that you fucked someone that they wanted to fuck, or that you get laid more easily than they do, or because they want you to only be fucking them. In other words, they've got a secret crush on you and have never mentioned it to you. Oh, and then there are those who call you a slut without even knowing anything about your sex habits. This usually comes from guys who have been rejected by a woman on OkCupid or Tinder, or something. She says she's not interested in him, and he calls her a whore, I guess because it's easier to get rejected by a whore than by a prude. Personally, I'd rather get rejected by the person who doesn't tend to sleep with anyone, than by the person whom I'm claiming will fuck anyone. But that's just me. Some people aren't very clever with their insults, I guess. 

Anyways, just embrace your sluttiness, whether you're male or female, or some other variant in between. Or, hell, embrace your lack of sluttiness, too, if you like. Fuck as many or as few people as you want because you have no one to answer to but yourself. When someone else decides to point their finger at you to tell you what you are, you just nod and say, "Damn right! But you ain't getting any!"