Age Differences

I've always dated, or "dated," guys who were younger than me. Some who were significantly younger than me. I have a bit of a hangup about dating older guys, and I'm not sure where it stems from, but the best I can figure is that it has something to do with me not being comfortable in a submissive role. 

It might sound odd, but even when I'm with guys who are half my age - and I'm currently 43, by the way - I'll treat them as if they were my contemporaries or peers. I don't talk down to someone simply because they are younger than me, or act as though I'm superior to them, in some way. Though I might recognize that I have more experience than them in some things. However, they have more experience than me in other things, and that shouldn't be dismissed. 

ADVERTISEMENT
Adam & Eve 468x60

If someone is older than me, I feel like I have to look up to them as if they were my superior. Don't ask me to make sense of this, considering my previous statements. It doesn't make sense. It simply doesn't. So, I'm just laying it out there, as illogical as it may be. But, as I was saying, someone who is older than me, I have a hard time seeing myself dating this person. To me, they'd me more like a supervisory role, or mentor, or even an uncle, or something of that nature. I can't find myself sexually attracted to them, even if I can see them as attractive in general. 

Additionally, if they are close to my age but still younger, they remind me of classmates. My peers were assholes to me in school. I did not have a pleasant childhood when it came to school, so people my age tend to make me think of that, and, again, I find it hard to be attracted to that, which is rather frustrating, since those are the individuals with whom I would have the most in common. 

Physically speaking, I tend mostly to be physically attracted to those in their 20's. Yes, I'm a proud pervert. Don't expect me to apologize. I know this is more common than people want to admit, otherwise "Barely Legal" porn wouldn't be selling so well. Now, the problem with the 20-something guys is that we don't have a lot in common. Most of them like playing video games, of which I have zero interest. They also like to go out drinking and partying, which, again, is something for which I have no interest. Or at least not enough interest to do on a regular basis. 

My next option is guys in their 30's. I am physically attracted to some guys in their 30's, but the closer they get to my age, the less attracted I get. Around 35 seems to be the cutoff for me. A rather arbitrary number, mind you. I do tend to have more in common with 30-plus-year-olds but could stand to have more in common. I'm not as attracted to them, but if I find the right guy, then it's all good. I was dating a guy who was in his mid-30's, and it was going kind of okay, aside from having gone on about seven or eight dates and him refusing to tell me his last name, and the fact that it seemed like he was just using me either for rides, or just to give him something to do to get out of the house. He was an odd dude. 

Now, what I don't understand is why other people give a shit about the age differences of couples which don't involve them. For example, I messaged some guy on Grindr who was 33 and, in true Grindr form, the guy was rude as Hell and called me "greedy" for wanting someone so young. I promptly laid into him about how he wasn't exactly a spring chicken, at the age of 33, and gave him a few other choice words about how sad it was that his first instinct was to be rude when someone to whom he was not attracted decided to message him. I'll never understand that. 

But how is it greedy to want to be with a younger guy? I mean, any younger guy that I pair up with is going to be a younger guy who is choosing to be with an older guy. So it's not like I'm stealing him away from someone his own age. If I date some 25-year old, I'm likely not taking him away from another 25-year old, because he's not likely to be interested in guys his own age, if he's willing to date someone who is 43-years old. Right? So, don't get pissy at me! I'm not stealing your men away from you. You never had a chance to begin with. Any guy who would go with me wasn't going to go with you in the first place. 

By the way, you might be surprised by the number of younger guys who like older dudes. I don't really have too much trouble finding them. But it does baffle me when some young guy is incredulous that I would dare to message him, considering our age differences. Well, buddy, I messaged you because there is no shortage of younger guys who are into guys my age. So, get over yourself.

Anyways... I just had to gripe.