I have a lot of friends on Facebook who are women and I get a bit of a glimpse into just what sort of messages these ladies get on their various dating apps. See, you guys, when you message these women, or probably any woman, and you're a dick, they take screenshots and they post them for all the world to see. And what might frighten you, or should frighten you, is that they don't obscure your face or screen name. Your dickish comments are on display like fine art in a museum, where all of the ladies' friends will come around and critique your game. Spoiler alert: You have no game. Also, you are a terrible sore loser when you don't get the attention you're seeking.
Case in point, this gem here. This sad sack starts off with a friendly enough, though unoriginal, "Hello how are you doin" and then a compliment about how cute she is. Personally, if I were initiating contact, I'd at least have better grammar and spelling, but that seems to be asking too much. Not that my spelling and grammar are perfect, but for fuck's sake, I think someone could show some proficiency with the English language for the span of two sentences.
But, I digress... So, this guy sends her a "Hello" and she doesn't reply for a whopping thirteen minutes and he gets impatient. My guess is that he feels he's owed a response. He then does his little follow-up message implicitly asking if she is unable to say "Hi."
She, being unable to say "Hi" to guys she's not interested in talking to, and having no obligation to do so, kindly answers his question with a "Nope." This shatters his delicate ego, resulting in him calling her a "Stuck up Fat ****" and telling her to go on a diet because "know[sic]" one wants her. Well, clearly he wanted her less than an hour ago, so his response seems rather stupid. I mean, if you're going to insult someone, calling them ugly or fat, you probably shouldn't do so less than an hour after you were trying to strike up a conversation with someone to whom you were clearly attracted.
This shit happens all the time. Time after time, these boys (I caution to call them "men") will send a message, and then another, and then another, each time expecting that they should get a reply. When they don't get what they want, they whine and start insulting.
Why should these women be expected to reply, though? Are they obligated to reply to every single guy who sends them a message? That's insane! Some women get tons of messages. Are they supposed to engage in conversation with each and every guy? First of all, that's just not practical. No one has that kind of time on their hands. If you've ever read some of the conversations women get sucked into, even replying once makes the men who contacted them think they've got their foot in the door and they're on their way to Pound Town.
If she replies, he starts flirting, if you can even call it flirting - it's actually more like a drunken come-on, with offers of sitting on one another's face, or blowjobs, or titty fucking. It's the textual equivalent of a guy slapping his dick against a girl's face. I don't know if any women get offers of dinner and a safe ride back to their own house. Maybe that happens. I doubt anyone's taking screenshots of those messages, though.
We shouldn't assume that all guys are like this. A large enough number of them are, though, to the point that Facebook pages, Tumblr blogs, and Instagram accounts are dedicated to posting screenshots of men's messages to women where their delicate egos were fractured and they resorted to name-calling.
Take this dip-shit for example. He starts off way too strong, asking her to come to his place. She curtly replies with a laugh and a "No thanks." Mind you, I'd almost say she was a little harsh with the "Lol" but then I remember, that he wasn't exactly polite to her either. He just jumped right in with both feet. And that water turned out to be cold!
What's even more stupid is that he instantly insults her looks after he's rejected, just like in the first screenshot that I posted above. What does this say about him?
He suggests that she's got a double chin, so, either he was cool with her double-chin when he wanted to bang her at his place and he lost interest after he was shrugged off, or she suddenly developed an additional chin upon rejecting him. I'm inclined to believe that the former was the case, assuming she even had a double-chin. In all likelihood, she didn't. Not that that matters. She might be rocking her extra chin. He'll never know. He ain't ready for her jelly.
Above, you see examples of what happens when a woman just doesn't reply to guys to whom she's not interested and you might be thinking, "Well, why doesn't she just say that she's not interested?" I'll tell you why:
Even when a woman rejects a guy, like in a few of the examples farther up, she gets berated or insulted, if not downright interrogated by the guy, asking why she's not interested. In the above pair of screenshots, we can infer that he's messaged her a few times and she finally replied to say she wasn't interested. He, of course, has to resort to telling her that she's "fuck ugly anyway," and when she's unfazed by the remark, he admits that it was a lie.
Notice, though, that he also told her to stop talking to him. If a woman doesn't reply, she gets harassed with a barrage of messages from that guy, followed by some snarky comment about her not replying, or a sarcastic remark of some sort. If she does reply, saying that she's not interested, she gets insulted. From what I can gather, it seems that every woman is obligated to fawn all over every guy that messages her. That's her only safe option. Or so seems to be the belief of these asshats.
Oh, and again, I have to point out the shitty grammar. Look, no one wants to talk to a dullard with the grasp of the English language of that of a toddler. I don't want to shame guys who can't string a sentence together... Oh, no, wait, I totally do. For fuck's sake. This is basic English. Unless English isn't their first language, I can't see any reasonable excuse for these abominations of messages. The guy in this screenshot starts with "hellos," and then comments on her "one gorgeous eyes."
You're killing me, Smalls!
I don't expect perfection, but I do expect some effort. If you want to impress someone, talking like a horny Tarzan isn't the way to go. Unless, of course, you're talking to Jane. The odds are that you are not talking to Jane. So, step up your fucking game.
It seems like no matter what a woman does, she can't win. Judging from all of these screenshots, I can see why women don't reply to every message. As I said above, when they reply to someone they're not interested in, they get shit on. If they don't reply, they get shit on, too, but I suppose those messages are easier to ignore.
If they tell the guy to "Go away," they get called a tease. How the fuck is a woman a tease when she hasn't even talked to you?
Guys, you're not entitled to a woman just because you're attracted to her. She's not your property. She's not your own personal cum dumpster. She's a real, living person, who is someone's daughter, or sister, mother, or aunt, or grandmother. You're being a dick to someone's daughter, you asshole! Do you want guys talking to your daughter like that? Fuck, I hope not. But, rest assured, they will. And you'll probably be that dude who threatens to beat the shit out of any guy who touches your daughter. Right now, though, you're that guy!
I'm going to close this with a message to the actual nice guys. The one's who don't feel entitled to anyone's attention, who are respectful, and who don't accuse women of putting them in the friendzone when they get rejected. You, poor fellas, need to be aware of these other douchebags. They are the reason that women are cautious around you, and with talking to you. They are the reason that women don't reply to the message that you sent when they're not interested. So, when you don't get a reply, just move on to the next lady, and call that one a loss.
Men tend to send far more messages than women do, and they often amount to little more than "Hi." Women are simply overwhelmed, sometimes, with all of the "Hellos," and "How are you doing?" messages. If you want to get through to her, Mr. Actual Nice Guy, put some effort into NOT being like the dimwits above. Formulate an actual, thoughtful message, utilizing the information you gleaned from her profile that you hopefully read, and write out a well-worded, spell-checked, polite message. Also, check your grammar and punctuation. If you must resort to complimenting your lady of interest, try avoiding mentioning her tits or ass. You might get a little further that way. Okay? Good. Remember, women have a lot more available options to them than most guys do. If you're not up to snuff, they've got ten other guys messaging them who they can move on to. So you want to stand out in the crowd, and not in a bad way.