U Hung(?)

I hate being asked if I'm hung. I realize it's Grindr, and all, but it seems uncouth. Especially for a first message. No, "Hi," or "How's it going?" Just straight to "U hung." He couldn't even be bothered to put in a question mark. 

I'll be honest, part of my loathing for this question is that, no, I am not hung, which means this guy is simply a waste of my time. Any time spent saying something to him, or anyone else who asks me this, is a waste, unless I get some sort of entertainment out of it. In this case, I was kind of testing the waters with a smart-ass reply for once, though it's not a very good one. Which doesn't matter since I blocked him immediately after sending it, anyway. 

The average length, among Americans, I guess, is 5.5 to 6-inches. I say "I guess" because I keep seeing average lengths broken down by race, which can be above or below that average range, and then I see that average, but they don't specify if that's a world-wide average, or an American one, or what. In any case, let's just go with that being the average. And, in the interest of full disclosure, I fit right at the high end of that average. 

One website, humanforsale.com, even broke down penis lengths based on the percentage of the population which had that particular length:

  • Under 4": 1.1%

  • Between 4" and 5": 7.3%

  • 5.0" to 5.4": 11.5%

  • 5.5" to 5.9": 21.9%

  • 6.0" to 6.4": 25.6%

  • 6.5" to 6.9": 16.8%

  • 7.0" to 7.4": 9.3%

  • 7.5" to 7.9": 3.9%

  • 8.0" to 8.4": 1.4%

  • 8.5" to 8.9": 0.6%

  • over 9.0": 0.4%

I don't know how accurate those numbers are, by the way. I've only seen them on the one site, but for argument's sake, again, I'm going to go with it. Now, "hung" has yet to be established. I suppose I shouldn't have blocked that guy so quickly, as perhaps he might have provided me with some insight as to what's considered "hung," at least from his perspective. 

For me, anyone with anything larger than what I have, seems big, and I've had guys who were less endowed than me tell me that I was big. So it seems it's somewhat relative. Maybe 7+ inches is "hung"?

Extreme Restraints - Bondage Gear & Fetish Store

Fuck it! Let's go with anything above 7 inches. If the numbers above are to be believed, you are narrowing down your prospects to 15.6% of the population. Good luck with that. Add to that the fact that not all of those well-hung guys are going to be attractive, but maybe for a hookup, your only concern is the size of their cock. Good for you! Is it obvious I'm the tiniest bit bitter about this?

I don't really feel self-conscious about my size. I'm not particularly bothered by it. That is until some asshole asks me if I'm hung. It's then, and only then, that I feel inadequate. So these guys anger me a bit. 

Everyone has tastes, and I can't totally fault them for wanting something and asking a question to ensure that they get what they want, really. Well, I kind of can, if it's the first thing out of their mouth, or first thing they've typed, and it's apparently the only thing they care about, then I can be annoyed by the rudeness of it, and the wasting of my time. I actually don't really need to justify my annoyance by it, but for some reason I feel like I have to. Shut up!

I will say this: My average penis hasn't ever gotten any complaints. Though, to be fair, how many assholes are going to really complain about it? I usually get compliments, and I can see on my partners' faces that I'm going in deep enough, and I have enough girth to get the job done... and I'm sure the piercing helps somewhat. This is why I really don't feel inadequate.

In spite of my feelings of being just fine down there, the stupid question bugs the shit out of me, so I wish there was a way to prevent it on apps like Grindr. Some websites allow you to enter your penile size, which probably deters some of that line of questioning. Unfortunately the apps for smartphones have to follow the rules of their respective stores and can't be too naughty, so they can't ask questions like that. 

I guess I could just write on my profile how big my dick is, but I don't feel like sharing that with every person I talk to online. 

I think what I'll do is start asking these guys if they have a cavernous asshole.